I'm thinking of starting a chapter of Sarcastics Anonymous in the new year. I'm thinking it could be like my New Year's resolution since losing weight and being a better housekeeper seem to not be working out for me.
Like with all things, my mind wanders and I start to think what one of these meetings will look like. I should probably stop all this "mind wandering;" it gets me into a lot of trouble.
OUR MISSION: To accept responsibility for our sarcastic ways and how it effects every area of our lives.
We will learn new ways of coping with life like smiling and nodding, not making fun of stupid people, situations or anyone's grammar and knitting.
Sample Meeting Agenda:
7:00-7:05pm--Make small talk. Please limit questions to one word responses. Please limit responses to one word replies. Watch your tone!
7:05-7:20--Group Discussion
Sample Topic: Why the Kardashians are Famous
Instructions: Engage in above topic, using only positive statements. Remember: no sarcasm is good sarcasm. Please come prepared with comments. You have two months' prep time. You can do it!
7:20-7:35--Personal Testimonies: In which members share how their sarcasm has ruined their lives and the lives of others they have come in contact with. Sarcasm is the third most likely cause of marital strife. (First is money, second is not replacing the toilet paper roll).
7:35-7:55--Topical Speaker
Suggested Topics:
Tone will be the DEATH of you
The South wasn't Won on Sarcasm
Nobody likes a Sarcastic Guest
Life with a Sarcastic Spouse--The Bad, the Badder, and the Worst
The Sarcasm Gene? Will Your Children Be Affected?
7:55-8:00--Reminders and Reciting the SA Creed
Sarcastics Anonymous Creed
God grant me the serenity to bite my tongue
when stupid people say stupid things,
The courage to point out grammar errors politely,
And the wisdom to smile and nod whenever necessary.
*This post was, of course, done with a good deal of, well, um, sarcasm. Please take it as such. :)
