A Moment of Light: A lesson from my son with autism (VIDEO)

I was looking through some old videos of our children today (because, you know, I needed to get a good cry.  They were so little and cute!). I stumbled across this video I'd almost forgotten about and wanted to share it with you.  It was a moment I think many people will remember if they were there that day in church with us. But it's also a moment I needed to revisit.

This video is from four years ago when Daniel was six.  We were still dealing with lots of behavior issues related to his autism.  Sometimes, it felt like we were never making progress and it was discouraging.  The smallest thing seemed to be a challenge and it was exhausting to work on the same behavior or skill over and over again.  As an autism mom, some seasons are like this.  It feels like your child is standing still while every other child around you is moving at lightning speed.  In these seasons, for me, it's difficult to see our boys around other typically developing children. The differences are so obvious, so glaring.  It made church a difficult place to be for me.

And then there are times like this.  A moment of light when you're in a dark place. Acknowledgement that your child is there and growing and learning and making progress.  That progress might be tortoise-slow but slow and steady still means moving forward. One of these moments happened on a regular old Sunday in church for us.

For a few months, we'd been working on Daniel sitting in church with us for the first 20 minutes.  Sitting in church is not an easy task for any kid, let alone one with autism.  There's the sitting.  There's the quiet.  There's the being still.  To say this skill was a work in progress (is still a work in progress) is putting it mildly.  But sat with us, he did.

Almost every Sunday, our church recited The Apostles' Creed as a church body.  (If you aren't familiar with the Creed, you can read it about it  HERE). The words were printed in our church bulletins and on the screen in front of us. This particular Sunday, we sat in the middle of the sanctuary and, as the entire congregation began to recite The Apostles' Creed, little six year old Daniel did something pretty amazing.

Out of nowhere, he recited the entire Creed with the congregation.  His voice was pitched just enough that you could hear it throughout the entire sanctuary, from the pastor at the pulpit to the family in the back row. He wasn't scripting.  He was saying it with us. Together. We hadn't been practicing this; we did not even expect that he was paying attention each week.  And yet . . .  he nailed it, word for word.  Heads turned towards us, people smiled.  There was something very special about this moment and everyone knew it.

For me, the reasons were twofold.  First, sometimes when we hear the word "autism," we immediately assume a person is "checked out" and that they aren't listening or paying attention.  We might think they can't understand us and they don't care to be apart of anything we do.  Stop thinking that.  Daniel and his brother are always paying attention.  Always, you guys.  They hear every single word being said.  Whether those words register then or later, they have been spoken and filed away.
Remember this if you're talking about them like they aren't in the room because they are soaking up every word you say.

Always assume competence.  Always assume your words are heard and understood.  You always have the power to affect lives of all people, not just people with autism, with your words.  Make them positive words.

Secondly, on a deeply personal level, how could I not thank God for this moment?  How could I not acknowledge that His hand was on this child and that these words were placed in Daniel's heart?  I'm not saying he understood every word he said but I know with a fierceness I can't describe that God holds Daniel and Gideon in His hands.  When I was in a season of discouragement and disappointment, God knew exactly what I needed to hear.  It's amazing how God works, how He uses words, songs, and little guys with autism to remind me that He is always with us, always faithful, always true.

This video was made when we got home from church and I asked Daniel to repeat it.  There are a few stumbles and mumbles and a forgotten words or two.  Nevertheless,he does an amazing job.

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