Here are three practical ways I've found to help ease their anxiety:
A Site: One of your best tools is always preparing your child ahead of time. I try to give my boys as much information as possible before we head into a potential anxiety-inducing situation and I've come to rely on YouTube to help me. I know you and your child are familiar with YouTube. You've probably watched more surprise eggs videos that you can count or heard the theme song to "Thomas the Tank Engine" replayed over and over again. 9200 times. In one day. But it was actually my son Daniel that showed me how helpful YouTube could be.
About four years ago when he was six, Daniel had to get his first filling at the dentist. I explain that we'd be going to the dentist to get his tooth fixed and he wouldn't be able to eat until after the dentist fixed his tooth. He didn't say much but he did ask to get on the computer. Thirty minutes later as I scrambled to get everyone out of the house, I heard a strange, high-pitched whirling noise coming ftom the direction of the computer. Upon investigation, I found the noise to be a dental drill. It seems Daniel had gotten onto YouTube, typed in "trips to the dentist," and had been watching short videos. While most of us would like to do pretty much anything other than watch patients get fillings, for Daniel, it was exactly what he needed.
I asked him about it on the way to the dental office and listened while he rattled off things that happen when we got to the dentist. It helped him tremendously to know what was going to happen before it happened. I've since learned that YouTube has a video on pretty much any experience you can think of.and, with a little planning, it can be a great visual tool to help ease anxiety before it's even started.
An App: A couple of years ago, I discovered an app called, "Kid in Story" (Enuma). This is a paid app ($6.99, iOS only for now) but if you keep watching, they will occasionally make it free for the day (that's how I got it). The Kid in Story app allows you put your child in a book. You can use pre-made story boards or create your own. You add the words. You can even record yourself or your child reading the story.
The applications are endless but I've found using it to create your own social stories starring, you guessed it, your own kiddo is one of my favorite. What is a social story? It's a story that describes a new situation, skill or concept and helps by explaining what the socially acceptable responses might be. Done correctly, social stories can help alleviate anxiety and stress because your child already has an idea of what to expect and how to act in a new situation.
For example, say you're starting a new school year. What a perfect time now to start putting your story together. Get a picture of the school, the new classroom door, even the teacher, and start a story with your kid in it. Social stories can be a great tool by themselves but think of how much more powerful they are when it stars your child. I find Kid in Story to be very user-friendly and every child in our house benefits from it in some way--whether it's a social story or creative play.
Here's a video of what Kid in Story looks like: Kid in Story App Demo
An Activity: Sometimes we as parents aren't quite sure what will cause anxiety until it happens (and even then, it is sometimes a mystery) but one activity that helped us when our boys are already in an anxious state is heavy work.
What is heavy work? It's exactly what it sounds like. One thing we've learned through working with an occupational therapy with a focus on sensory integration is that children with autism often have underdeveloped proprioceptive systems. That's a big word to mean how our body moves and how aware we are of it. We work our proprioceptive systems through our joints and muscles by pushing and pulling or squeezing. Heavy work are ways to help give the proprioceptive system a work out.
I'm not an occupational therapist so definitely consult with yours for duration, weight, and other instructions but we have found activities like these help our boys become more aware of their bodies.
- pulling a heavy wagon (perhaps with a sibling in it to make it a little more fun)
- wearing a backpack full of books
- using a weighted blanket or vest
- deep squeezes and hugs
- jumping on the bed, a trampoline
- rough housing or wrestling
These all have the added benefit of calming our boys down. Plus, it can be fun! Each child is different so it will take some trial and error to find what is not stimulating enough or too stimulating. One of my boys hates to be squeezed, another would happily live in a hug all day.
This is a great read on heavy work right here from Mama OT: 40 Heavy Work Activities for Kids
We've also used a weight vest for the past three years in school with our oldest child. (Again, consult with your OT about weight, duration, and additional instructions). This has helped him during quiet independent work time in the classroom to stay calm and focused. Some children also do well with weighted blankets to help with sleep or calming down.
We got our weighted vest through a non-profit called Vests for Visionaries. She is an autism mama herself who takes donated military uniforms and makes vests out of them (so they look super cool) and gives them away for free (you pay the cost of shipping). She does accept donations--money, fabric, buttons, etc.
To get on a waiting list for a free weighted blanket, you can check out Sharing the Weight
These are three things that have helped us in our family. Anxiety is difficult enough when you have all the tools to express yourself and react appropriately but when autism limits your language and picking up on social cues is not your thing, finding ways to reduce anxiety is a good idea for everyone.
Have you found practical ways to reduce anxiety and stress in your child? I'd love to hear about it.
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Disclaimer: None of these links are affiliate links. I have not been paid or asked to say anything nice about anyone or any product. All the nice stuff was said purely of my own volition.
These are three things that have helped us in our family. Anxiety is difficult enough when you have all the tools to express yourself and react appropriately but when autism limits your language and picking up on social cues is not your thing, finding ways to reduce anxiety is a good idea for everyone.
Have you found practical ways to reduce anxiety and stress in your child? I'd love to hear about it.
******
Disclaimer: None of these links are affiliate links. I have not been paid or asked to say anything nice about anyone or any product. All the nice stuff was said purely of my own volition.
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