1. A vacation for a mother in which she travels away from her entire family and uses this time away to sleep, go to the bathroom by herself, eat an entire meal in one sitting, and watch whatever she'd like on television. Preferable destinations include any place where no one knows her name.
Example: If she didn't go on a mom-cation soon, her children were going to find out just how creative she could get with a roll of duct tape.
Did I mention I would be by myself?
I'm going on a mom-cation and I cannot wait. Please understand that I love all of my little people very, very much. They are the cutest, the (sometimes) sweetest children God ever made. But these little people take every single ounce of my patience, every second of my time, and every drop of my blood.
My children are my heart and my kryptonite all in one.
My strength and my weakness.
The reason I get up every morning and the reason I want to go back to bed an hour later.
So, every now and then, I need a break. I need to be by myself and recharge so I go away. My first mom-cation was almost five years ago. I rented an $80 hotel room literally twelve minutes away from our home. I arrived as soon as I was able to. The room was modest but neat. The television worked and it had cable with a working remote and the remote was not lost. The bathroom seemed spacious without three other people in there with me.
I did crazy, wild things like take a bath. With bubbles (See? Crazy). I drove across the street and picked up Chinese takeout and then down the street for a pint of ice cream. I ate it all by myself. Every single bite. I had the queen-size bed all to myself and, especially since it was August, I blasted the air conditioner and no one was there to complain about it being too cold.
I put HGTV on and lazed in bed, reading and half listening to whatever show was on. Pure gluttony. I painted my toenails, a very rare treat for me. I deep conditioned my hair. I enjoyed the quiet, the pleasure of my own company, the absence of "Mommy, Mommy, Mommy" being chanted every three seconds.
In the morning, I trekked downstairs at my leisure (after not having to dress anyone but myself) and gathered some food to take upstairs. On the way past the front desk, I stopped to ask the woman manning the counter a question.
"What time is checkout?" I asked.
She looked about my age and, I would bet, a mother herself. "It's at 11 o'clock."
I frowned. "Okay. What time is it now?"
"It's 10:07."
I sighed. Was it already time to leave?
"So, are you just passing through?" she asked, making small talk.
"No, I'm on a mom-cation. I'm taking a break." I explained how close I actually lived and that I had three children and a couple of them had autism.
Her eyes rounded. "Really? That's so cool." She tapped at her keyboard and then grinned. "You know what? We're not all that busy. You go ahead and do the late check out. No charge." So, I stayed until 1:59pm (because late check out was at 2:00pm).
The first year set the precedent for mom-cations. The next year, I did the same thing. The year after, I drove four hours away and hung out with a good friend. And this time, I'm flying all the way to Oregon by myself.
"But, what about your children?" you're wondering. "Who will take care of them?" The answer is: my husband. He's their other parent. He won't be babysitting or doing me a favor; he'll be parenting. He'll also be taking care of me, his wife. See, he understands that these breaks are important for my well-being. I'm sure he's feeling a little overwhelmed at the prospect of all four of our children to himself for five days. That's five days of breakfasts, lunches, and dinner. Five days of dressing them, changing diapers, saying, "Get that out of your mouth, Gideon," and five days of bedtime. All on his own.
Is my house going to resemble a war zone when I return? Yes, probably. Will something get broken, lost, or colored on? It's very likely. But there's only one real rule anyway: everyone must be alive when I get home.
Besides, my husband can handle it. In fact, I think he needs to handle it. Spending a few hours one afternoon by yourself with the kids is nothing compared to a few days. It's important for me to give him these opportunities to be a parent on his own. It may not be fun for him but I notice something when I've been gone for a day or two. My husband starts to understand what my life is like every day and he appreciates me just a little bit more than he did before.
And me? What do I learn? Inevitably on my mom-cation, late at night when I'm laying in bed and the lights from the television flicker on the walls, I start to get a little lonely for my people. Yes, that's right. I start to miss them. Just a little bit. But it's enough to make me excited to see them when I get back home. That time apart helps me to remember just how blessed I am.
Give yourselves a break, Moms. Dad's got you covered (don't overthink that). Everyone can survive for a night or two without you. When you come home, you'll be more relaxed, with a full love tank, and ready to tackle motherhood again.
That's what a mom-cation is all about.
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