Saturday, April 23, 2016

The Daddy Monologues: Part Two (A Guest Post from The Hubs)

This is the second of a three-day posting spree by my husband.
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I have always been a shy, quiet type of guy and this reputation has followed me for many years.  One time, I went caroling with a group of friends.  Some knew me well and others were only acquaintances.  We had a great time even though it might have been the coldest night in the history of Houston.  When we were finished, we dropped off some of our friends at church.  I got out of the car to switch seats and one person said, “He did not say one word the entire time!”  This became a running joke with some of my close friends.  But that’s who I was, I was very shy and did not say much except to those I was close.

I have always had a problem sticking up for myself or pushing for what I want.  I have never been good at interviews.  I have always thought of myself, if only subconsciously, a little less than others.  At seminary, I always loathed those who would kiss up to the professors.  I swore that I would never be that guy.  I, after all, had principles.  But I was also not good at asking about or planning how to turn my calling into my career.  I have always been inside my own bubble. 

My children, especially Daniel and Gideon and their autism, have pushed me out of my bubble.  I have had to do not necessarily what I want, but what I need, to help be a good father and provider for them.  I am usually very even-tempered.  However, if you want to see my bad side, if you want me to really get angry, then mess with my family.  Once, a person very close to me, made fun of Daniel.  Usually I can keep my temper in check but he was messing with my son and that would not do.  I tore into him.  He was very surprised but I did not back down.  He ended up apologizing for his behavior. 

When I was a chaplain, the nice-y nice Jesus who loved the sinners and suffered with them was stressed.  Lost was the Jesus who overturned tables or said to one of his disciples, “Get thee behind me Satan.”  Jesus loved so much that He could not only remain gentle Jesus, meek and mild, he got angry.  He was angry because He loved and glorified the Father and because He loved His church.  As a Christian man and Father, I must get angry sometimes and make sure others know about it. 
I do not completely know why it has taken me this long to realize this truth in practice.  I often gave lip service to it but I am only now able to start practicing showing anger for the right reasons, for the ones I love.  For the helpless and suffering.  For the ones who can’t fight for themselves or cannot speak for themselves.  I truly love my family and I must show my love by fighting for them.   

Sometimes that also means stepping out of my comfort zone for what I want.  More flexibility at work.  Going in earlier so I can be home early enough to eat dinner with my family. Maybe it is going out of my comfort zone so I can find a job I am passionate about and support my family.  It can take many forms but I have learned that as a man, I cannot sit passively by and let life happen.  I must prayerfully lead my family into life as we love, worship, and give glory to God together.   

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