This was after 17 minutes of me asking, "Are your shoes on?" or "Did you brush your teeth?" or "Where's your backpack?" You know, typical morning. Also, being a typical morning, one kid was complaining about hating wearing a jacket, getting into the van, school, shoes, and the universe at large. Another kid had his head buried in his tablet while he pursued world domination (or whatever the heck happens in Minecraft) and was completely ignoring everything I said. Boy number three ran around the van a few times and laughing hysterically while I clumsily chased him (because morning plus running. Just no). And The Girl was following me while I chased her brother, demanding chocolate for breakfast.
Like I said, typical morning. Which mean we were running late. And I was exhausted already and hadn't had nearly enough caffeine for these morning shenanigans.
"There is too school," Ben called back to our neighbor.
"No there's not!" Then Mr Joe paused for a few seconds and shouted, "April Fools'!"
Ben grinned. But Daniel, well, Daniel gave me a look very similar to this:
Daniel is nine (10 next month, actually EEK!) and he has autism. People with autism are very, very literal. I mean, really literal.
For example, one time, he was sitting with a friend of mine while a big old Texas rainstorm raged outside. "Wow!" she said. "It's raining cats and dogs."
Daniel gave her a look very much like the one above and said, "No it's not. It's raining water."
Jokes are also hard for Daniel. Sarcasm is almost impossible. (How he got me for his mother is beyond me. My spiritual gift is sarcasm). That's not to say Daniel doesn't have a sense of humor. He's a very silly guy and has earned the reputation of class clown. He finds things funny all the time to laugh about but he'd rather see his humor than infer it. So, whoopee cushions and flatulence are funny. Knock-knock jokes and tricks? Not so much.
April Fools' Day is kind of a nightmare for him.
So this morning, he looked at me and said, "We don't have school today." It was a statement, not a question. He was not about to get in the van.
I took a deep breath. "Daniel, you have school today. It was a joke."
"No, we don't have school."
"It's April Fools' Day. It was a joke. You have school."
"I don't want to go to school. We don't have school."
I can't tell you how much I appreciated Mr. Joe about then. I appreciated him like I appreciate root canals and Justin Bieber music.
Finally, finally, he got in the van and finally, finally, we were on the road. I tried again to explain April Fools' Day to him. "It's a day to play jokes on people and sometimes people lie and make things up as a joke."
A blessed moment of silence. Then, "Lying is bad."
"Well, yes, lying is bad. But sometimes people make stuff up to be funny."
Daniel is a terrible liar. This is often the case with people with autism and, hey, I'm not mad about it. He's honest to a fault. When he tries, on the rare occasion, to lie, it's so obvious it almost hurts. Plus, I reinforce all the time that lying is bad (it's one of my pet peeves) so I could understand his confusion.
"He was pretending, Daniel. You're going to school."
He didn't reply. I took it as a win for me.
I'm not sure how his day will go. The social nuances of April Fools' are hard for Daniel to understand and a part of me worries he'll hear something he thinks is true and won't understand why it's not. On this day, when lying is not only socially accepted but also encouraged, I hope my un-sarcastic, super honest boy will find some humor somewhere.
Then again, he'll be in a room half full of third grade boys. Eventually one of them will fart.
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As you might know, April is Autism Awareness Month. For our family, every day is a day for autism awareness. We try to spread it everywhere we go, whether people like it or now. I thought to challenge myself this month to share story about autism in our family every day. Every day this month. That's a lot of days but, then again, I have a lot of stories.
I would urge you this month, this very day, to find someone you know touched by autism and do something for them. Maybe take coffee to an autism mom you know. Maybe a quick note of encouragement. Maybe just a hug. Maybe offer to watch a kiddo (or four) for an hour or two so their parents can go on a date (or take a nap). Maybe find a local organization in your area that gives directly to autism families and find out how you can help too. Maybe praying for them specifically every day. Know that whatever you do, it will appreciated.
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