The Daddy Monologues: Part Three (A Guest Post from The Hubs)

Today is the last day of Carl hijacking . . . er, guest-writing.  I hope you've enjoyed getting a bit of his perspective.  He is such a great "autism" daddy.  Not a lot of men could exhibit the patience, understanding, and care that he does with all our children.  He's a pretty great guy.

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Today was a mess.  Sharon had to go to church early for music practice. I had to get the kids clothed and fed and to Sunday school on time.  Need I say more?  I never feel less prepared and inadequate as a father than at these special times.  But these are the times of our lives.  They teach us lessons that the good times often cannot.

Sharon is so amazing.  I would go crazy if I had to get the kids ready every day.  She is such a great woman, wife, and mother.  She is a super mom.  I can deal with big issues a lot better. The stress I was put under as a chaplain was often not as hard to manage as trying to find all the kids’ shoes in the morning.  Are they in the closet? Upstairs? In the van?  Are those the right shoes for Katherine or does she have church shoes . . . .

Wait.  What was that?

Loud banging of something coming down the stairs. Excuse me for a just a moment.

I am back.  Katherine decided to see what it would sound like to throw the Connect 4 game down the stairs.  I thought it was much worse except disciplining Katherine who is going through her terrible twos is always an adventure.  Again, these are the types of things that make me pull out my hair.  It is the cumulative effect.  Things are not going well at work, I have a million things to do at home, and I am tired.  I begin to feel that I really cannot do it all.  This whole business of fatherhood of four kids, two with special needs, looks greater than the flood that hit Katy earlier this week.  The flood of stress hits hard.  It is too much for this man.  So many demands and seemingly no mercy and grace when things do not go as planned.

These are the times when the local church and the gospel mean so much to me. 

First, the church.  The local church is not a building.  It is people meeting as a community to worship God.  All of the believers in the church are united together because Christ is our brother.  As Sister Sledge used to sing, “We are Family!”  I was so tired during service today.  I was beyond the stress because I did not have the energy for it.  I took Gideon out of worship so he could go to children’s church.  Usually he has a “buddy” but I did not see one.  Sharon was singing so I could not ask her what was happening. I was a little confused. 

During this confusion one of our elders came and took Gideon by the hand and spoke to him.  He then told me that I could leave.  He had it covered. He does not know it but that was such a blessing to me.  It was so simple yet very profound.  The elder did not make everything better but his act of kindness to me and to Gideon made me feel not so alone.  Someone showed that they cared and did not judge Gideon based upon his behavior.  It was the church being the church.  And that is what is special about the church when it behaves like Jesus Christ. 

I have been reading about how through faith in Jesus we as Christians are reconciled with the Father.  Our elder brother, Jesus Christ, brings us into the fellowship and love of his Sonship with the Father.  Our big brother and Father stand together in their love for us.  There is no guilt and shame.  They are not asking for us to be perfect or we will be judged unworthy.  The Son reconciles us to the Father and by the Spirit we become a new creation.  It is then that we can be freed of what brings us low.  We can freed from the performance trap.  This is good news and it is what the church should be about. 

I leave you today (and the last of my three guest posts) with what lately has become one of my favorite passages of scripture:

From now on, therefore, we regard no one according to the flesh. Even though we once regarded Christ according to the flesh, we regard him thus no longer. ¹⁷ Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation.^[b] The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. ¹⁸ All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; ¹⁹ that is, in Christ God was reconciling^[c] the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation. ²⁰ Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God. ²¹ For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God. (2 Corinthians 5: 16-21)